“Five Things” exercise
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Five Ways Naruto Tried Not to Fuck It Up, But Did.
01. It had to be an important day, since Kakashi excused Sasuke from the D-rank mission and Sakura tried–unsuccessfully–to hug him before he left. So Naruto used his savings to buy a discount cake and fashioned a paper hat from some other kid’s birthday party trash, went to Sasuke’s and exclaimed: “Let’s Celebrate!” He can’t understand why Sasuke beats and beats him ’till he can hardly stand, until over a day later when Iruka asks him why his eye’s swollen shut, and Naruto learns Sasuke’s birthday isn’t for another two months.
02. The temporary truce isn’t about nostalgia or the surfacing of buried memories. It’s about one thing, and one thing only–a common enemy: Uchiha Madara. Each of them holds half of the power needed to tip the scale, and so they merge, fight, and in the aftermath of their glorious victory Naruto touches Sasuke’s face and tells him that from now on, he’ll work hard to be a better brother than Itachi ever was. Sasuke strangles him unconscious, and isn’t seen again for three years.
03. Naruto finds Sasuke in a remote coastal town, a figment of the imagination living in one of the seedier inns. There’s only one bed in the tiny room; Naruto won’t leave him and Sasuke won’t share. Long before morning Sasuke hangs him from the roof, upside down in his underwear, and Naruto discovers that Jiraiya was wrong: Oiroke-no-jutsu is not the solution to everything.
04. When Sasuke does come back, they throw him a party. Nothing huge, just Naruto and Sakura and Sai, in a corner booth at the back of a barbecue restaurant. Naruto’s excited enough for ten, and drinks far more than he should have but he doesn’t throw up, and doesn’t slur too badly, so he considers the evening a success. He hugs Sakura goodbye, and hugs Sai next, thinking to walk home with Sasuke and sober up a bit. Sai does more than hug him back; Naruto doesn’t realize the tongue in his mouth isn’t Sasuke’s until Sasuke is already gone, vanished into the night.
05. The morning after their first time, Sasuke is warm and calm–if not relaxed–in the circle of his arms. Naruto can’t stop pressing tiny kisses to his forehead, nose, hairline, cheek, chin, until Sasuke complains that it tickles and suggests he stop immediately. Naruto grins and holds him tight, saying the only moment in his life that could rival such happiness was when he learned his father was the Fourth Hokage, the most famous man in all of Konoha. He doesn’t have any stories, though, so he asks what Sasuke’s father was like, and watches Sasuke close down right before his eyes, no word uttered, all the barriers back in place. Sasuke doesn’t accept his touch after that for a long, long time. And even then, it’s not the same.
Five Ways in Which Naruto Makes It Up to Sasuke
01. Naruto fills the silence when Sasuke will not, keeps a happy monologue going so the walls don’t close in. But he respects the quiet too, and lets his presence say what his words lack, and hopes that it’s enough.
02. Naruto doesn’t count the minutes, hours, or days after Sasuke has come back, though every one of them is precious in his heart. Nor does he count the minutes, hours or days in the future he hopes they can have–the pressure of such a sum would be unfair. He’ll give Sasuke all the time he needs, without counting the cost.
03. Sakura warned him beforehand, or he might have goofed this up too; he draws a mental line down the apartment they move into, a barrier he promises himself not to cross. He leaves half the sink for Sasuke’s toothpaste and brush, keeps his things contained in half the closet and is sure to stay out late and away from the place at least twice a week so that Sasuke can be alone. His heart is sorely tested by the division, but he can see the wisdom in offering plenty of space if he ever wants that space to shrink.
04. He knows he failed him in the past. Too weak to take care of himself, too brazen to listen to instructions, too hasty and putting everyone at risk. Naruto works with a passion to become a reliable shinobi, a constant friend–so he can show Sasuke that their bond is worth renewal, and their future needn’t repeat the past. When Sasuke stops him in the middle of washing dishes and invites him out fishing for the first time in too many years, Naruto thinks maybe he’s succeeded, just a little.
05. He knows Sasuke had it, though they probably never told him before they died. Itachi too… or at least he likes to think so. Kakashi might have said it, but he died too soon. Orochimaru would never have felt it, much less have said it. For all the people who claimed to want him for their own, few felt and none ever said the words. Naruto feels it, and would say it in a heartbeat–but the right moment hasn’t come. Not yet. So he’ll give Sasuke all the quiet, time, space, and peace he needs, so that one day he’ll be ready. For now, Naruto will love enough for the two of them.
Five Times Izuna Meets Hashirama.
01. It’s wartime, but there’s a festival going on in a small town, and Madara sneaks them out when the adults aren’t looking. Izuna meets him by chance, an older boy with a look in his eyes he’s never seen before. They both have perfect aim, but the older boy beats him at darts by just a hair; he gives Izuna the prize–a stuffed squirrel. He smiles before he disappears, and years later Izuna realizes the look in his eyes was kindness.
02. There are signs of someone lingering just inside the border of their territory, and Izuna is sent to get rid of the intruder. He finds a lone young man at the meager campsite, and when their eyes meet Izuna hears the noise of crowds and scents fried food and firework ash, feels the softness of the stuffed squirrel in his child’s hands and tastes dango on his tongue. The young man smiles at him in recognition. He takes an acorn from the ground and holds it between his palms, then offers it to Izuna–with a small green sprout pushing outward from the cap. Izuna can’t help but grin, holding the seedling tight. He bends to the man’s stacked firewood and blows a kiss of fire in return before vanishing. When Madara asks about the intruder, Izuna replies that there’s nothing to worry about.
03. There’s no excuse; they aren’t children. The unexpected reunion takes place as the same festival goes on around them, but there’s nothing innocent about how they play in the secluded storage tent, fingers and lips redefining hide and seek. The exchange is one of pleasures, one of needs, one of aching passions ripened over time. Yet another gift without price.
04. Izuna’s team is returning from a victory when Senju surrounds them. They fight hard and well; Izuna dispatches more than ten before one in his team falls… and then another. He thinks of Madara, waiting, and knows he can not lose here–he can not! In battle frenzy Izuna kills until he can break free and attempt escape, but one lone shinobi closes in and takes Izuna down. His shoulder is near ruined, his legs broken. Izuna prepares for the coming knife, feels a hand pull his head back by the hair–and then the attacker gasps. Izuna’s eyes, wide with the scarlet Sharingan, finally see. Senju Hashirama drops the kunai, and walks away, leaving him with little chance to survive. But it’s chance enough for him.
05. Izuna stays close to the compound, even though his ears are good enough for him to move around with a semblance of shinobi grace. He ties the cloth around his empty eyes with pride; his sacrifice is that of a warrior. He sits by the pond in the morning, feeling the warmth of the sun on his bare back, and the coolness of the water on his feet. In the afternoons he sits in the meager shade of the oak planted years ago from a particular acorn. Once, and only once, Hashirama pays him a silent visit, his message one of twined hands and an hour of company, side by side, before he must sneak back to his own clan’s encampment. The sun sets, and Izuna returns to the heart of Uchiha, alone until the very end.
Five Nice Things Tobirama Said About Izuna
01. “Not bad for a little scamp,” Tobirama comments to his brother, the two of them kneeling and peeking through the bushes at the group of kids running through a field of wheat, one of them particularly spirited with rosy cheeks and dark hair. “Who’re you calling scamp?” Hashirama smirks, ruffling his little brothers hair. “I bet he’s at least an inch taller than you.” Tobirama’s jaw drops, and then their brotherly wrestling match begins.
02. Izuna plucks the rice ball from his hands on his way out, turning to blow a raspberry before vanishing into the forest. Tobirama is surprised speechless, watching the path through the trees in wonder. “Is that a blush?” Hashirama teases him, peering overtop his head and smirking. Tobirama sputters; he hadn’t heard his brother coming. “Of course not!” he protests, scoffing at the idea. “He’s not that cute.” To his horror, Hashirama bursts out laughing, and makes him go red from head to toe.
03. “I can see why you like him,” Tobirama offers, leaning in the doorway of their cottage not long after Izuna’s latest visit, mature enough now not to blush at what the visits really mean. Hashirama cocks his head, asking for enlightenment. “He’s awfully passionate–”
Hashirama hits him in the face with a pillow.
04. They’re hiding in the bushes again, but this time as armed men, spying on the enemy camp. The leader is speaking from a platform in front of a bonfire, the flames licking shadows over his face and gestures as if he were performing some kind of demonic ritual. In the front of the audience sits Izuna. Tobirama looks from Izuna to Madara and presses his lips together. “At least you didn’t fall for the older one,” he whispers, knowing his stoic brother is disturbed by their clan’s opposing forces, his heart cleaved in twain. Hashirama only nods.
05. The plan works even to the last detail, which is a sad commentary on the Uchiha clan’s decision to send blind Izuna into battle in the first place. They saw him die a warrior’s death, so no one will ever know he survived and now lives secluded in Hashirama’s house. Tobirama doesn’t regret helping them; what makes him sad is their silent union in the aftermath of horrors committed on both sides of their families, hardly any words spoken between them. Tobirama catches his brother in the kitchen one morning and jokes, “I guess he makes a fine sister.” Hashirama knows what he’s trying to say and smiles. Before he leaves he throws a clever retort: “Now it’s your turn to settle down, little brother.” Tobirama turns pale… and then grins, contemplating the possibilities.
Five Ways Gokudera Used to Procure His Dynamite Supplies
01. Shamal keeps ordering the sissy stuff, so Gokudera goes to the Family arms dealer in person, rising on tip-toe to place his wad of cash on the gentleman’s counter and make his demands. The man laughs in his face, but puts his cigar down so he can hand over a little box of high quality dynamite as thick as Gokudera’s young wrists. He tells him to be careful, and to come back when he’s a man like Shamal. Gokudera shakes an angry fist and curses the man’s offspring, but the dealer’s guards shoo him out the door all too easily, shaking their heads and chuckling.
02. He doesn’t like depending on Shamal, or anyone, so he sets up his own lab in secret and attempts to make the missing nitroglycerine ingredient himself. When he comes to, he’s on his back in the hospital and can’t feel any of his limbs–he panics–but then he notices the tiny itch on his neck. In the long hours that pass without being able to scratch it, Gokudera decides it’s not worth damaging Shamal’s office with his experiments any further if there’s a possibility of this sort of heinous revenge being repeated. He’ll just have to start over somewhere further away.
03. A discreet stack of imported porno mags is all it takes to bribe a couple of students in the Mafia school to help him with the heist. Two nights later and the truckload of dynamite crates are his, safely hidden away for his own personal use. Gokudera is nowhere to be found when two students are mysteriously expelled for possessing an illegal substance on school grounds.
04. He has no Japanese connections at first, and no way of smuggling dynamite into the country. He pursues some leads and hits nothing but dead ends, and finally, desperate, Gokudera phones Shamal and asks for advice. Reborn overhears and has the Ninth deliver ten crates to Tsuna’s house–Tsuna opens one and faints, and Gokudera is too shamed to show his face for a week.
05. The topic comes up with Kusakabe, of all people, when they’re chatting one afternoon and Gokudera offers him a cigarette; the guy’s always chewing that long piece of grass, so it seemed like a natural thing to do. Their teamwork results in a smooth supply chain for about five months before Hibari finds out and it goes kaput. But that’s all right with Gokudera. Nobody stops the Tenth’s Right Hand for long.
Five Times Bianchi Tried to Parent Her Brother
01. She does it first because there’s no one else–not because it’s too sad to see her brother act like an orphan while their father still lives.
02. She does it next when their father dies; making bento and tucking Gokudera in for the night helps the ache of her one-sided loss enough to see her through.
03. She wants to be motherly ten years later, but can’t, or Gokudera won’t grow like he needs to to get them out of this wrong, wrong mess. She compensates by playing piano, which soothes her nerves and twists the knife in his.
04. She’s the only one who notices him slipping away from the reception when Tsuna and Kyoko are busy cutting the wedding cake. He blames it on the champagne, and she allows him the excuse while he lays his head in her lap and sobs silent tears of heartbreak. “You will find your love, as I found mine,” she murmurs, “Don’t worry.” Before long her eyes flick up and catch Yamamoto Takeshi watching them through a column of vines.
05. She waits up late, in the dark, resting nonchalantly on the steps in the grand entryway. At half past three the door opens and the two of them enter. Gokudera stops, pulling him close for one last kiss, then pushes Yamamoto away down the hall that leads to his rooms within Vongola castle. Yamamoto grins and waves, and when he’s gone Gokudera smiles in a way that both warms her, and turns her cold; the fate of every parent when faced with a child’s serious relationship. He doesn’t notice her until he nearly steps on her, and then freezes, stunned, anger warring with embarrassment and rendering him mute until she rises and lays a hand on his shoulder. “Never mind, Hayato. I give my approval.” She leaves him sputtering, feeling it a job well done, and then it occurs to her she may have overlooked something very important. She turns back around. “Hayato? Maybe we should go have some tea after all.” For what sort of parent would she be without giving him The Talk?
Five Times Sasuke Catches Juugo Watching Him Sleep
01. The feeling is light… not anything that should unnerve him. Without moving a muscle Sasuke cracks one eye open and across the campfire sits Juugo, eyes cool and calm, senses alert. Sasuke’s silent stare is question enough. Juugo nods, stands, and leaves the immediate area to continue the watch–but not so far that Sasuke couldn’t get to him if necessary.
02. The invisible link between them seems to shrink and pull the longer they’re together. Juugo doesn’t test him. Sasuke still checks for him in small ways, only half content to think he’ll realize something amiss the moment it happens, like when a long worn accessory–ring, bracelet, necklace–falls off. It’s harder to sleep if Juugo isn’t there… though he’s always there when Sasuke wakes, eyes clear and focused. Innocent. Sasuke stares back and wonders how long it will take for the hourglass to empty.
03. He doesn’t think to watch Juugo sleep until far into their quest to track down Itachi. As leader he’ll take his share of watches while the others rest, Suigetsu bundled tight in his blankets and Karin sprawled lewd across hers. Juugo, he finds, does not sleep, or at least not under his watchful eyes. There’s no explaining why; Sasuke doesn’t bother. It’s not something he can command either. What he does is arrange their shifts back to back, so Juugo can sleep while the others watch. After so many nights staring across a fire into Juugo’s eyes… it’s not sleep Sasuke wants anymore either.
04. Sasuke opens his eyes slowly, slowly, knowing with his other senses what he’ll find: Suigetsu and Karin in heavy slumber, and Juugo–awake and alive and tingling with energy a small distance away. A glimpse of Juugo’s hungry eyes and hands clenched tight on his knees and Sasuke’s throat grows dry, that invisible bond between them tugging on points beneath his navel. He sits up, then stands in one slow, fluid movement, careful not to ignite some other desire in the man before him. Sasuke walks past on silent feet, pulling Juugo’s invisible leash into the darkness.
05. Once, when there is a rare moment undisturbed by the noisier members of Taka, Sasuke motions to the spot beside him and lets Juugo lie close while he relaxes for a brief, but much needed nap. Sasuke feels Juugo’s eyes burn hot on the nape of his neck, feels the line of his body against his back–but not touching–as they lie on their sides. Sasuke sleeps, knowing that he’ll wake with Juugo’s knees pressed up underneath his, and one large arm holding him under the protective crook of his chin. Juugo will wake him in time, but for now… for now… he can sleep…
Five Times the Sexy Jutsu Failed Naruto
01. The time he used it on Konohamaru’s teammate Udon to try and get free ramen at Ichiraku’s and learned the boy was gayer than every rainbow in the universe put together and was also stingy, and faster than him.
02. The time he tried it out with Mitarashi Anko, whom he’d heard from a reliable source was a hardcore lesbian who enjoyed dallying with blondes–and ended up learning unspeakable techniques with bananas and turkey basters that NO LIVING HUMAN could ever get him to repeat. Even Anko. Even if it had arguably been the best sex of his life.
03. The time he was coming back from a successful solo mission and stopped for dinner in a strange section of an unknown town, where men seemed to go to the restroom in pairs one after the other after the other and Naruto sure as hell wasn’t using that men’s room, so he employed some light genjutsu and a few hand seals and went to find the Ladies’ and wound up walking in on a room full of towering cross dressers who just loved his makeup and where did he get that outfit and was his hair natural blonde or was it the latest style of wig? Naruto couldn’t make it back out the door before they grabbed and pawed him over and squealed and annointed him with an Okama crown–he crossed his legs and held it as long as he could before pissing in the closest sink. They took the crown back, even though he apologized. Which is a shame, because it was real pretty.
04. The time he went to the spa for a facial and a mud bath, since that kind of thing is for girls anyway and he wouldn’t be caught there DEAD by any of his friends… which didn’t explain why Neji was there at all, frankly, though the end result was blackmail in which he had meet him privately and allow Neji to rub down his female form with baby oil until he presumably got tired of it, but it always, always, always led to sex because somehow his female form just couldn’t handle it and Neji knew it, somehow, and it made Naruto furious and he was sure he’d never succumb under normal circumstances. Neji that complete bastard.
05. The time he insists Neji has to use the jutsu if he does, and Neji just sighs and transforms and begins with the baby oil and Naruto realizes way too late that he likes girls, and he likes having girl hands on his body–be it girl or boy–and FUCK. He’s going to end up having sex with Hyuuga Neji forever. And actually… that doesn’t sound so bad. Blackmail is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
Five Times Iruka Regrets Being A Teacher
01. When a team of four comes back as three, and the face sitting in that person’s old desk the next day is wrong; instead it’s someone younger and more innocent who has just as much chance of following the same path and ending in the same place, a name inscribed for all to remember. Some days, his classroom feels like nothing more than a revolving door of funeral invitations.
02. When the burning need to fight succumbs to the need to protect. He wishes once, just once he could be there beside his former classmates and comrades to watch their backs instead of guiding waist-high pupils to shelter. He stands at the crossroads again and again, but not once has he risked the coming generation for the precious bonds grown over many years, though he’s lost too many of both.
03. When the job isn’t something he can leave in the Academy school building, the responsibility following him home in the papers to be graded, the lonely students needing an ear to listen, the next day’s assignments prepared. The job comes first–even when the Copy Ninja is waiting with wine and candles and even one minute of delay feels sorely unfair. Kakashi says he’s drawn to Iruka’s unfailing sense of duty, and it’s why their love has lasted. Iruka covers the fading kiss marks from Kakashi’s last missions with ones of his own, and never says a word.
04. When the result of a parent/teacher conference reveals that sometimes what happens at home is far worse than what any student will face later in the fray; Iruka locks the door to the windowless supply room and sheds the tears the eleven year old boy couldn’t, wondering how a parent could ever hurt a child when there’s already so much pain in life.
05. When the temptation to err is nearly tantalizing in its agony — maybe no one will see him get wasted, maybe no one will see him light up and succumb to the eager hands sliding up the back of his shirt, the whimsy of pouring Vodka over his head and letting more than one man lick it off his skin, his hair, where it catches in the dip of his navel, bodies pressed together in the alley, one in front and one in back, all of them warm and loud and irreverent and insatiable. Surely he could slip under the radar; surely no student of his would ever witness such things from their teacher; surely he is allowed to be human; surely…
Surely he couldn’t face his class the next morning, all those eyes looking to him for their example. Surely he couldn’t smile at them the same way afterwards — at least not like he does in the mission room to say last night never happened to one man, and I’ll see you again Friday to another.
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The first one. Nice try, Naruto, but oh, dear GOD, my heart aches for Sasuke. I imagine this has happened to Naruto on his own birthday at times – trying to be cheerful and party, and everyone else only sees a gleeful fox on the anniversary of the day their loved ones were killed.
You make Sasuke and Naruto so… harsh and breakable and wonderful. :D But the second set of five “makes up” for that, lol. :)
Izuna and Hashirama. Kudos for actually… being able to write them? :) I myself just torre through the pages furiously, screaming at the computer, “GET TO THE F$%^&ING POINT ALREADY!!!!” and frantic about what was going to happen. But it was beautiful, and sweet.
I like Iruka, and here you made me love him. :)
….And that scene at the end was really, really hot. o.O *wants more*
PS – And Anko, hahahaha. They might as well come out in canon and just say that she has wild crazy secks, because all you have to do is LOOK at her and it’s damn obvious. :DDDDD
YES! XDDD She’s totally one of my favorites! I ship her with Naruto, which may be strange, but I LIKE IT. <333
*grins* Thank you so much!!! I’m so happy you liked these–it was a challenging exercise, but I had great fun with it!
Izuna and the Senju brothers were the hardest; I had to go back to those chapters more than once to try and get them as right as I could, lol. I’m converted into liking them though!
Hot Iruka is on the menu for something else I’m working on, lol, so stay tuned! <333
NEW FIC \o/
First Naruto fic was such a brilliant portrayal of all the reasons why Sasuke is a prickly bastard and their relationship would never work. I’m under no illusions that he is a wanky piece of shit, so it was sad for Naruto to be punished and beat up for that. Completely IC though. And the #5 was just heartbreaking, omg. For it to start so beautifully and sweet and then for it to end on such a painful note ;___;
I loved the last one from the first Izuna ones. I think I’ll always love to read about the Uchiha’s; distant relatives or not. It seemed elegant and dignified somehow; even though he had suffered.
GOKUDERA SHAMAL WHOOO This is my OTP, swear to god. Oh #4 was adorable and satisfied the 5927 shipper in me. I also choose to believe that in between all the dynamite smuggling and scheming, Gokudera and Shamal are having hot kinky sex. Subtext and all that xD
#4 and #5 from the Bianchi one. FUCKING HELL I LOVE THIS. I don’t mind her as a character much, but she’s more interesting in conjunction with Gokudera IMO. And the 8059 was a great addition. This may be my favourite one actually.
Loved the sexy-no-jutsu one LOL. Anko/Naruko? I am liking this pairing : 3 And it wouldn’t be you if there was no Naru/Neji xD
Ohh, rambly comment ¬_¬ Off to ramble some more on other fic <333
Woohoo! Lots of new works coming out recently, lol. I hope you don’t get bored! *fufu*
Gokudera/Shamal is your OTP?! :D Duly noted! I’m still pretty new to the Reborn fandom, so I feel very unsure of myself. The two sets I did here were agonizing but I’m so pleased with how they turned out! Thank you so much for the awesome feedback–especially since this exercise was so experimental!
Tee hee, Anko/Naruko is my guilty pleasure. <333 Or Anko/Naruto. Equally good. 8D
Thanks again for reading and sharing your reactions! It’s incredibly helpful!!! <333